Restart!

I predicted in the first post that my New Year's Resolution of 2008 of keeping up a blog would last about a week, and although it lasted slightly longer than that, the blog met its downfall shortly after it started.

BUT.

I am now a second-semester senior, and have very little to occupy my time. I mean, besides the 3 upper level seminars, the independent study, debate, and job search/application process, I really don't have anything to do.

So I thought I would open up another option of procrastination. One that isn't re-listening to the David Cross open letter to Larry the Cable Guy, although you totally should. It does lose some of its attraction after listen number 8 or so, but the wit is brilliant and the logic airtight.

I plan on writing a quick summary of each day, mostly for my own convenience, to keep records etc., but also because it gives me impetus to log on and write every day. I may also possibly post recipes. Or ingredient lists that I use during the week. If you're curious, this week is cereal, Rhody Fresh milk, roma tomatoes, avocados, roasted yellow tomatoes, capers, olives, tomato sauce, olive oil, home made tomato sauce, pasta, feta, humane/free range/organic turkey bacon, baby romaine, a homemade mustard and shallot vinaigrette, carrots, broccoli, tofu, poblano peppers, jalapeno peppers, rice, homemade stir-fry sauce, and free range eggs. And, wait for it, IT'S BLOOD ORANGE SEASON! My favorite food. Seriously. Blood oranges and dark chocolate. And cheese, obviously. Currently liking the Colsten-Bassett Stilton and Kunik (triple creme goat cheese.) You can get them at Farmstead. They also now carry Mast Brothers Fleur de Sel 72% chocolate. I'd recommend it, but the cocoa is quite fruity if you don't like that sort of thing. So yeah, those are my favorite foods.

So, yes, I am the kind of person who eats mostly produce and doesn't understand / cannot do the Kraft, PB&J, Ramen, Cereal route. My one exception is that I do get a Blue State small mocha every day, so that is food that is neither grain nor produce. I'm not sure if my diet (and no, not in the inaccurate weight loss diet term that people use) makes me elitist or just someone who prioritizes food and health. I'm also a gym girl, largely because it's my TV watching time. I just don't feel bad watching an hour of Law and Order if I'm on an elliptical. And I am currently doing an independent study through the Tufts school of nutrition, so I'm interested in "that health sort of thing" whatever that means.

Most recent piece of advice to solve fatigue and up your energy/focus: get your Vitamin D level checked. If it's low (which it probably is since it's March and above the Mason Dixon line) take 2,000 IU a day. And make sure to take your B12 supplements if you don't eat lots of red meat!

I'm honestly not a holistic nut when it comes to exercise and nutrition--go by established evidence from methodologically sound studies. Society would be better if it followed that rule. And no, I do not like granola or quinoa or soy pudding.

Le sigh; time to do the reading I've been procrastinating doing for, oh, 5 hours or so at this point. But I've done productive things, like...well, maybe not.

Over and out.

Did someone say anything about Eeyore?

Who? I'm dying to know.

Law and Order

Being at home recuperating has its benefits, such as being able to veg for hours and not get yelled at for being lazy.  But it also has its downsides--television is terrible, boredom seeps in, paintings take time to dry, etc. 

The one saving vegetative device I have found are Law and Order marathons.  It doesn't particularly matter what variety, but USA seems to always have some mind-zapping option available.  In watching the new Alec Baldwin Hulu ad, mocking the older generation's threat that our brains will turn to mush by watching the tube, I was inspired to think.

Is television really so bad?

Undoubtedly, no.  The "television is terrible for you" attitude is held by former generations to scare its children into doing something "productive" in its spare time.  Mind you, if the baby boomer generation had enough channels to make television worthwhile, I'm sure they would have watched it themselves.  Moreover, in the 19th century, people young and old awaited each serial edition of a Dickens novel.  Why does television get shat upon yet reading trashy novels, which are much less stimulating than a well-written television show, is heralded as "intellectual?"

I know, someone is going to say, "but Allegra, we laugh at people who read Dan Brown novels all the time!" but I'd bet you that 9 out of 10 of our grandparents would much prefer us reading trashy fiction than smart television.  Simply, the entertainment of the day is always heralded as the doom of civilization until it gets accepted into the mainstream and heaven-forbid our brains don't ooze out of our ears in the meantime.

I suppose this post is meant to bemoan the hypocrisy of the elderfolk in our lives, and not to sound like a Marxist viva la revolutionnaire, but also to praise Law and Order.

The shows are formulaic, sure, but it's a damn good formula.  Look at the Harry Potter books.  100 page summary, 300 page build up, 200 page adventure, 100 page cooldown. Sure there's an analogous pattern for Law and Order, but for some reason, each case pulls you in.  Even if there are search and seizure violations left and right, witness intimidation, etc. you still find it somehow believable enough to be intrigued.

The point of an 8 hour USA Law and Order marathon is to keep your brain working enough that you can't think about other things, but not so much that it feels like an academic exercise.  The problem with truly stupid (non-engaging) shows is that they don't occupy enough of your brain cells, and therefore your brain is going to revert to its usual hectic pace.  Law and Order is the perfect balance between mindless and mind-occupying television, which is what makes it possible to veg to 8 hours of the show.

The downside?  It becomes incredibly tempting to put off work and just watch the Law and Order Marathon, but hey, who really has anything that has to get done anyway? 

Cats vs Dogs

The funniest thing I've seen in a while, largely because it's true. At least, it's true the way I think of cats and dogs in my head.



WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary......

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Packing. More packing. Until my arms fall off.

My visa finally came, yesterday.  How typical of the Frenchies to wait until just the last minute, heightening the suspense until that jouissance of relief, exhaling a sigh of, "thank God they didn't fully fuck me over."

Indeed, if the French are the World's Guinness Best at anything, it is bureaucracy.  And with the inefficiency with which they process anything, I am truly proud of them.  It's one thing to be inadequate, it's another thing entirely to be proficiently incompetent to such a degree that showcases one's expertise at Epic Fail.

I am increasingly convinced that the French have a trade school for perfection of bureaucratic ineptitude. I challenge anyone to prove me false.  In fact, l'ENA (l'École Nationale Supérieure for those fortunate enough not to be intimately familiar with the French government) is considered the highest school in the country, and what do they produce? Professional, top-notch, award-winning bureaucrats. 

Tangent-- The terrible part is, the French really do have an excellent education system.  The reason they get shat on in the international academic community is because they try to funnel all their brightest minds into the career with the most national prestige: the French Government.  Clearly a waste of IQ points.  If only French society pushed its best and brightest into fields such as engineering, agricultural advances, and the social sciences, France  would be up there with the U.S., Germany, and Japan in terms of most highly esteemed intellectually.  Do not yet despair, fellow francophiles, for the Millau bridge and the Eurostar are the beginnings of a new dawn for France.  Not to mention the nuclear fission/fusion/whoojamawhoppel (sp?) reactor being built outside of Marseille.  End of tangent.

Oh who are we kidding, I know nothing about the sciences.  But History Channel and expert sources tell me France is making a comeback.

If the New York Times Magazine says so, it is so. Rule #1 of this blog.

I often find myself asking, if the French are so good at making my  life miserable, how is it that I still love them?  How is this possible, that I like la peuple française despite their Frenchness?  It would seem, in that case, that I like the Americans more than the French, because the Americans do not have the handicap of being French. Au contraire, my dear Watson!  The French have that added weight dragging them behind that makes them so endearing to me.  Take the Sealyham terrier, for instance.  Ugly as fuck, but adorable precisely because of the visual offence.

We shall test my hypothesis over the course of the next 6 months.  I hereby proclaim hypothesis number 1: We like the French precisely because they are awful.

note: we will inadvertently occasionally slip into the royal we, a bad habit that I have picked up from a certain someone, no names of course. Anonymity is key to this blog.  I will replace any names with code names, primarily due to keeping my friends out of deep shit, but also due to common courtesy and/or avoiding libel suits et cetera.

i can has blog?

In the last few days leading upto my departure to gay paree, I have somewhow gotten sick. Why am I not surprised? And in the process of getting sick, I've gotten lazy, and I tend to procrastinate by finding new venues of creative expression.  I know, pretentious. Shut up.

Something Luba said really struck me.  "Everybody has a blog nowadays." And I didn't. So to hop on the stuffwhitepeoplelike trend, I'm getting a blog.   I am the one person I know who meets all 3 criteria of cool, nonhypocritical, white girl.

A. despises hipsters

B. is not a hipster

C. embraces all the things swpl stands for.

You would be surprised how many hipsters hate hipsters, really, it's quite the phenomenon.

Anywa, hypomaniac rambling.  Yada yada yada, I am going to keep a blog, whenever I go online I will update it with things I have done/thought/felt and it will ALL be out there.  New Years Resolution, probably won't last more than a week, whatever, on va voir.  I think I shall call it my crazy diary, but it needed a somewhat legitimate url, so I went with my maternal language: lolcats.  Anything and everything is possible, palatable, and perfect in lolcats. Just remember that, folks, and then life gets a little easier.

So I am technotarded after all.

And so it begins!